As an evolved human who can weep on cue, I demand change. I project it. I fucking embody it. That's why when I looked into a Starbucks the other day to laugh at the cretins who feed that corporate Nazi shitholery and saw some asshole with a Che shirt I knew it was over. OVER. It kind of sucks because we had Che first but if I can get over Guided by Voices breaking up I will survive the masses ruining another counterculture icon. I've forgotten him already. That's why I've decided to team up with the vaguely creepy - in a cool way! - American Apparel, to introduce a line of casual wear to replace the now boring as shit Che Guevara.
Meet Mario Teran, third-world man of action!
He was a contemporary of Che's. But he never got his T-Shirt. Like an outre mod Tarantino casting old school Clint Eastwood in a bloody epic called La Revoluccion es Muerte, it is high time for such a new face. There's implied violence. There's retro-styling. There's the audacity of NOPE! And while Che failed to sow the seeds of revolution whilst terrorizing the Bolivian peasantry, Mario did succeed in planting a bullet in Che's skull. So in addition to everything else you can wear it ironically!