Monday, October 1, 2012

"Pardon me left winger, I didn't mean to interrupt your Barack Obama fellatio session."

Ronald Reagan Can of Whoop Ass. White Shirt.

The left (by which I include the media, natch) used to disparagingly refer to Ronald Reagan as the teflon president because he was relatively unaffected by relentless attacks by a yapping poodle media. Now, curiously, we're faced with a media that is hellbent on providing the teflon coating to a hapless Barack Obama presidency. I don't really know the direct connection between this sad reality and a can of Ronald Reagan Whoop Ass, except to say that it's something of a rallying cry for us wingnuts. That, and at least it isn't November-centric. As long as there are left wingers, this shirt will be a middle-finger to them.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Barack Obama and other left wingers hate the First Amendment when it doesn't serve them.

Barack Obama Fucks America. Black Shirt. White Shirt. Button. Stickers.

In the aftermath of the terrorist attack on our embassy in Libya - as well as the rioting throughout the Middle East - the prevailing wisdom on the left has been that freedom of speech is overrated, and that there should be laws preventing blasphemous "hate" speech. This is quite odd coming from a leftist ideology which makes recreational sport out of ridiculing Christians as well as the Judeo-Christian ethos which built the modern world, but what's a crucifix in a jar of urine or forcing religious denominations to act against their teachings by providing birth control pills when you know that none of these people will kill you? Rather, we should chip away at the bedrock of our superior in every conceivable way civilization so as to be sharia compliant. These people aren't liberal in any sense of the word. And, as suggested by the above shirt design, it is beyond fucking imperative that we forcefully fight such stupidity, and also run this clown out of office in November.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

A few more bumper stickers mocking Elizabeth Warren, because it's fun and she sucks.

I'm partial to calling her Fauxcahontas. Others refer to her as Lie-awatha. But whatever one chooses to call Warren, it nets out at fraud. The fact that this phony Cherokee is still in the race at all is testimony to how out to lunch my father's home state of Massachusetts still is. And whatever hope there was that the bloated corpse of Teddy Kennedy would finally restore them to some measure of sanity is, well, the jury is still out. Returning Scott Brown to the senate would at least be a positive sign.

The top one just plays on the absurdist parallel of a guy named Brown running against a fake indian.

The middle one is kind of a simple play on film marketing. In a few short words it gets her name in, makes fun of her fake Cherokee heritage and ties it into the election and the car owner's hoped for outcome.

The bottom bumper sticker is for Todd Akin and supporters of his Missouri senate campaign. I kind of feel sorry for the guy, and it can't hurt for Missourians to be reminded that his opponent, Claire McCaskill, is a brain dead loser who doesn't in any way reflect their values or wishes.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Yet more anti-Obama bumper stickers, because the stakes are high, and mocking him is so damned easy.

This will probably be the last batch of bumper stickers before the election, but there are already a lot of them on the blog considering I don't even own a car. GIANT HOLES. INCOMPETENT. DEFECTIVE PRODUCT. TRANSPARENT.

There's No Need to Cry Over Defective Goods Like Obama When You Can Just Send him Back.

It's hard to know where the bullshit ends and the truth starts with a president whose image has been completely manufactured by both his campaign and the media. But the nice thing about products that are defective is that there's usually a manufacturer's warranty. In this case, we can send his sorry ass back on November 6th. This design is just for a campaign button, and you can make the background any color you like if you know how to use zazzle, but I put up Blue, Red and Green buttons in the event that people don't.

I'm probably not gonna put up more than a few more items since anyone who gives a shit about driving this assclown from office ought to be pretty close to having their chosen campaign statements squared-away by now, but look around the blog as there are an abundance of snarky, aggressive, mean-spirited and even hateful anti-left designs up at this point.

Obama is "the Greatest Hoax Ever Perpetrated On The American People." - Clint Eastwood.

This empty chair meme hasn't had quite the staying power that I anticipated, but it is sufficiently with us that I decided to make a white shirt and a few buttons to go with the pricey black shirt I made last week. As with the black one, it's hard to make out all the fine details at Zazzle, but the above image is what it looks like when printed.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Random Anti-Obama Bumper Stickers.

I didn't know how to group these bumper stickers. The top and bottom ones are straight-forward punches in the mouth, whereas the middle two are Kind of "inside baseball."

Nothing personal against Scarlett Johansson, - she has a lovely, above-average rack and a standard room-temperature Hollywood IQ - I just find that the juxtaposition of Obama being a reflexive hard left ideologue - as evidenced by his disrespect to our oldest and staunchest ally, Britain - with his vapid celebrity interactions kind of defines who he is as president.

Likewise his ever-expanding enemies list. How a man who so fancies himself to be a beloved deity can be so deeply invested in destroying anyone who opposes him is beyond me. Well, it isn't, really. I just felt like being faux-indignant for a moment. But if he wants to get his Nixon - who at least had justification after the 1960 presidency was stolen from him - paranoia on, the least I can do is delight in the incompetence of government bureaucrats who endeavor to aid him in it.

He plays an obscene amount of golf, and when he isn't authorizing predator drone strikes in sovereign nations, he's been know to collect an inexplicable prize or two. Probably not the most idiotic Nobel Peace Prize that's ever been awarded, but that's not any kind of praise. The bumper stickers are located at: Honk If You Support Obama. Winston Churchill's Bust. Obama's Enemies List. Nobel Golf Prize.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Sarcastic Anti-Obama (Economy) Bumper Stickers.

It can get little boring constantly thinking up new ways to communicate how much of a loser Obama is, but when all else fails, there's sarcasm. Turning his blatant lie about Americans being able to keep their health insurance (under Obamacare) if they liked it into a joke about unemployment, seemed a natural. The others work along slightly different lines, but they all net out at mocking him from atypical angles.

The bumper stickers are located at: Unemployment Benefits. Unemployed College Grads. Unwittingly Chasing Off Illegals. Third World Country.

I probably won't be at this much longer, because if someone wants to express their opposition to Obama, now is the time. If you visit, look around at the rest of the blog, as there are multiple designs and anti-Obama sentiments that may be of interest. I hate to use overwrought expressions like "this election is life or death," but Obama and his acolytes most certainly have a gun in the mouth of America as we know it.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Obama Is An Empty Chair, So Sayeth Dirty Harry.

Dirty Harry's never wrong in my book. As we head into the evening on National Empty Chair Day, and also find ourselves on the eve of the Bank of America Democratic Convention 2012, I couldn't resist the urge to spend a few hours commemorating the occasion with this design. The themes found elsewhere on this blog are all there, but it's kind of fun for once to hop in on an already established meme and try to help keep it going. I only made this one for black shirts, as trying to make it work on white got a little dicey, and this is really just an unrewarding hobby, so I wasn't gonna spend all day on it. But here it is.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Very Simple Anti-Obama Bumper Stickers.

These really couldn't be simpler, which, as a career advertising guy, is the sort of communication that I'm partial to. You've got the car-related aspects in the choice of left or right and in being the color of highway signs, and they mock Obama with precious little effort. Bumper stickers, like billboards, pretty much have to stand on their own rather than be explained in any way, so I won't. If they move you, they move you. Reality. Hope. America. Prosperity. Also, some anti-Obama bumper stickers I slapped together rather quickly, and some others that were designed to be placed on stop signs, if you're of a mischievous bent.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Barack Obama's Infantile Leftism, As Communicated By An Infant Barack Obama.

It's hard to know where to stop when you task yourself with making shirts that underscore how painfully juvenile Obama's leftism is. I could have made a hundred of these, but settled on four and opted for a mixture of irony and over the top frivolousness. The constitution shirt somewhat embodies his dopey and un-American fondness for ignoring laws which he doesn't like, be that the work requirement for welfare recipients or the nation's immigration laws.

Then there's Obama's War on the Rich - or, as I prefer to characterize them, the successful - which is perhaps best embodied in his notion that business owners didn't build their own businesses.

He perceives fossil fuels as the ultimate evil. Mind you, not evil enough to preclude him from providing countries like Brazil with funds to further develop their oil resources, just too evil for increasingly less prosperous America. For us, he finds it preferable to flush billions of dollars down the toilet on idiotic political crony windmill ventures like Solyndra. What a leader!

And last, but most certainly not least, is his contempt for rural voters who he sees as a bloc which is (one of the many who are) an obstacle to his agenda. The sillyheads cling to their guns and their religion like the ignorant bitter clingers they are, with no idea that they're voting against their self-interest.

There you have it. Four distinct ways to give both Obama and his supporters the finger and amuse your conservative friends at the same time. Constitution Shirt. Anti-Success Shirt. Anti-Fossil Fuel Shirt. Anti-Rural Voter Shirt.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Romney Is Not A Lying Socialist Douchebag.

If you're at all like me, any overt expression of support for Romney requires a qualifier. Unconditional opposition to Obama doesn't mean that one must be tickled to death about rallying around Mittens. So this is one in a series of Pro-Romney shirts that are really just anti-Obama shirts, because if I can get a frivolous dig in on Romney while copping a squat on Teleprompter Jesus, it just seems to me that all the bases are covered. It's good to feel clean and whole in this unseemliest of electoral seasons. This shirt is available in white and other light shades.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Romney Has Never Eaten Dog, Nor Does He Throw Like A Girl.

The only thing worse than having a bag of flaming dog shit for a president is placing all your hopes and dreams for his ouster in a candidate who you're horribly ambivalent about. Yay establishment Republican-Democrat hybrid! Vanquish the vaguely Marxist gargoyle! But this election is far too important to not put yourself behind Romney, even if your heart's not all the way in it. I made these shirts to express my sentiments. Support for Romney with frivolous arguments for it. Obama does throw like a girl, and in a weird way it tells you a lot about him. Likewise his claim to have eaten dog in Indonesia. Who the hell cops to such a thing - least of all in a sober, matter of fact way? Most normal Americans would still be waking up screaming from horrible nightmares over having eaten Lassie. So, if you're similarly inclined, show your support for Romney with a shirt that proclaims that he doesn't throw like a girl, or that he doesn't have an unorthodox fascination with dogs. Mitt is worth it!

Former Obama Supporters, The Least You Can Do Is Mock Those Who Are Still Under His Spell While You Repent By Supporting Romney.

There are worse things than having voted for Barack Obama in 2008, I suppose. It was the cool thing to do, and anyone who didn't closely follow the day to day political stuff can be forgiven for not seeing through the dense smoke screen that the media and culture emitted in order to get him elected. 2012 is a different matter, though. Someone really has to be a moron, delusional leftist, cultural bigot or parasite to pull the lever for Obama this time around. This shirt is a way for former Obama supporters to show their support for Romney, while mocking those who haven't yet learned their lesson. The shirt is here, available in white and various light shades.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Obama: When Not A Danger To The Constitution, He's A Danger To Everything Else.

The above images are on separate shirts, of course, but they do kind of offer a summation of Obama's vileness when paired together here. On the first, well, it's hard not to see a poisonous leadership-deficient jackass who attacks any individual or group who he perceives as an obstacle to his agenda.

Hard not to see, that is, if you're not among the millions he has cast a spell on. This would be best typified by the bleating morons who seem to faint at every one of his teleprompter-dependent speaking engagements. But whether we're talking about those small-brained sillyheads who think Barack is gonna make their car payments, or the more benignly delusional - but more nefarious - lefties in the media who endeavor to bury anything which reflects poorly on him, the operative word is delusional. Both the Obama is poison and psychotic delusions tees come in a variety of colors.

Obama Is Dangerous To Your Constitution.

If Obama likes a court ruling, it's forever and always the law of the land. If Obama doesn't like a court ruling, well, fuck that, he may well ignore the law altogether or overtly not enforce it. That's not really the American Way the last I checked, but the modern progressive left is all about doing whatever the fuck they want. And if that isn't dangerous, I don't know what is. This shirt comes in white, and there's a button as well.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Obama is (a lot of bad things).

How to describe President Obama? I started with wanting to make a shirt calling him a failure, but the incompleteness of that characterization was glaringly obvious right away. What about Obama is a liar? What about fraud? What about Chicago Trash? Then it occurred to me that the only way to adequately describe this multifaceted piece of shit was by simply allowing other people to pick and choose what resonates with them. So have at it. Chicago trash. Loser. Dork. Bitch. Fraud. Putz. Liar. Failure. Assclown. Needle Dick. If there's a mean word that's not on offer that you'd prefer, leave a message in the comments and I'll gladly accommodate you. Hats are coming in a few days as well.

Obama Is Radioactive Waste.

If Obama has proven to excel at anything during his (hopefully) one term in office, it's attacking any individual or group who he perceives to be an obstacle to his agenda. "You didn't build that." "bitter people who cling to their guns and religion." Those are but a few examples of how this imperial douchebag views the world. And that's not even mentioning how this shithead treats long-time allies like Israel, Great Britain and Poland. A Radioactive sign with his creepy, once mindlessly adulated face on it symbolizes this all rather well, I think. I made this to go on a black shirt, though there are other dark colors at the link as well.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Obamacare Is Alive Until We Kill It.

Thanks to Justice Roberts' rather cockeyed determination that Obamacare is constitutional if considered a tax, - which Obama definitively argued that it wasn't - we're stuck with this piece of shit unless the GOP can manage to shred it after the election. I'm not entirely convinced that they'll throw the whole thing in the trash even if Romney wins in November, but that's just one more reason why we need to apply constant pressure. That sort of makes this a dual message. When I made this, the obvious intention was that people have a gun to their heads with Obamacare, but, alas, it can also communicate the desire to blast the shit out of it come January. Available in a tee shirt, button and stickers.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Obama: You Didn't Build That.

Every time this idiot says something stupid, I'm just going to add it to this collection. He knows that he stepped in it with this one, which is why he and his henchmen have so desperately tried to walk it back by suggesting that he was actually giving a civics lesson worthy of an audience of five-year-olds by pointing out that government does some things which benefit everyone. Anyone who heard the whole speech and attempts to aid him in this monstrously revisionist characterization is either a liar or a flat out imbecile. There's really no other option. Available in button and stickers.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Anti-Obama Bumper Stickers (For Stop Signs).

These are bumper stickers specifically written for stop signs. Not an original concept, but I can't say that I've ever seen it employed by anyone on the right. The fact that you essentially get "free" billboard space - provided you're nominally stealthy about putting them up - is the best part about this, but close behind that is the meta-commentary on public employees, as it will probably take a couple of years before one of them bothers to scrape it off. I doubt they'll make much sense on Zazzle absent the context of a Stop Sign, but that shouldn't be a problem here. Whining. Pissing away future. Molesting America.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Reagan, Ronald Reagan.

Like the rest of these Reagan Warrior products, there's no rhyme or reason to them other than my urge to drop Reagan into cool and unexpected images. The Gipper lives on in tee shirts and the like, but few if any people use him in lighthearted and/or interesting ways that I've seen. I see so much goddamned Che Guevara shit out there that I think that us right wingers need something of our own to throw back in the faces of leftists. Probably went a little overboard on the variety of products here, but who knows what anyone else needs at any point in time? Who am I deprive someone at the moment that they're desperately seeking an apron with Ronald Reagan as James Bond on it? The Tee shirt. Coffee Mug. Refrigerator magnet. Key chain. Stickers. Mousepad. Apron. Trucker hat.

Baby Obama On A Unicorn Where He Belongs.

The horned pony aka unicorn with a diapered baby Obama is an oldie around here, but putting it on a downward trajectory and slapping Obama's "Forward" slogan on it makes it fresh and ready for the presidential election. It's a bit of a weird image because without ascribing ironic intent to it here, one could imagine any number of fuzzy-headed liberals being incapable of seeing malice in a unicorn and baby Obama riding downhill, but that just makes it funnier in my opinion. There's a white shirt, button and stickers.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Anti-Obama Bumper Stickers Part One.

Unless you're one of those crazy people who cover every square inch of their car with random bumper stickers, the one or two that a person slaps on their car amount to a deeply personal choice. So if one of these smacks you right between the eyes, well, buy away. And if not, I can write crap like this in my sleep, so maybe a subsequent batch will yield just the one that makes you happy in your pants. From top to bottom, that would be teleprompter, the one, imbecile, enormous ears and short bus.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

A New California Flag (For Sane People).

The California Republic flag really conjures up a different time/lost era. Even when I was a kid, the notion of The West in this country was a markedly different, last frontier, rugged individualist one. But at the forefront of sucking the last gasp of life out of all that are Californians, be they current residents or transplants who've taken their foolishness throughout the West in an effort to mindlessly spread it like Cancer. I kind of miss "the idea of California," but this ain't my fight - until they go broke and the rest of us are expected to bail them out, anyway. These items are for Californians who are sick to death of what their state has become, and for residents of other states who are sick to death of Californians who are so sick of what California has become that they move to another state and try to turn it into the state they just left. This one comes in light colored shirts, trucker hats and car stickers. I also made a coffee mug and a frosted glass mug for no other reason than it looks kind of cool.

Obama fucks America.

This is by far my favorite image of the ones that I've made - simple and pointed. But it's also the one that I can most easily see conservatives in general having difficulty with wearing. It's not family-friendly, and it's not something that you'd exactly wear to the office either. It's more of a straight-up protest shirt, though I'm not gonna complain if anyone chooses to wear it elsewhere. This is, after all, something that the left would have no trouble wearing if the situation were reversed, and that is who we're in battle with. So whatever squeamishness you might feel has got to be mitigated by how upsetting it will be to any lefties you come across. That's why I have one, anyway. There are a few more versions on the way, but to start off with, the black shirt looks great. There's also a white version, as well as a few buttons and a sticker design.

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