Muslim exceptionalism.

Progressives are just too damn hard to parody.

Stranger in a strange land.

Every time Obama infuses a speech or comment with a dose of Americana he looks like he's enduring some odd mixture of an out of body experience and the physical strain of opening a pickle jar. He's like watching a bad "B" movie full of no-names where everything seems a little off until someone says "get oot of here" and you realize that rather than having been made by aliens it's just a dopey Canadian flick.

The left has certainly endeavored to destroy Palin by subjecting her cultural differences to ridicule, but most Americans can recognize the fundamental American-ness of her Alaskan lifestyle. It's just awash in regional quirks. Obama, the product of a leftist bubble, is not an American at all even if the media practices a variant of "don't ask, don't tell" with regard to his fundamental discomfort in his own country. He is, so to speak, the tip of the spear in the left's no longer glacial pace of carving out an entirely separate culture than the rest of us.

Al Gore has a penis!

Poor Al Gore. One day you're running for president and seeking advice from Team Castration on how to not come across as a pussy, the next day it looks like the walls are caving in because you cast aside your only evident virtue and dragged your manmeat on board the short bus to Loopyville. The conspiracy-minded might even sense that this all comes to light by way of a cold breeze from Chicago - even a paunchy prize-winner isn't untouchable after dissing The Won, after all.

I couldn't care less if the Goracle is putting his wooden unit in Tipper Jesus or a toothless crack whore, but the mere idea of dining on Larry David's leftovers calls for 50 freakin' gallons of brain bleach. Immediately. The only thing pink in Laurie David is her political sentiments.

Better yet is Prince Albert's alleged foray into the land of the lecherous.

The woman later contacted police in January 2009 and gave a statement, saying she was called to Gore's hotel room at around 10:30 p.m. on October 24, 2006 to provide a massage. While doing requested work on his abdominals, the woman claims Gore pushed her hand to his groin area and later tried to have sex with her.

In her statement to police, the alleged victim calls Gore 'a crazed sex poodle,' She says she was intimidated by his 'rotund' shape, and that he had a 'violent temper, dictatorial, commanding attitude.'

Even if it's pure fiction this is still a masterwork of hilarity. Keep doing your thing dawg [poodle]. The women of the world must not be denied your manhood even if you must force it on them, so share your flop sweat and your bloated, rippling carcass wherever your little jet takes you. Hump some wind turbines and other inanimate objects as well. Whatever distracts you from your work as an eco-huckster is mighty fine with me.

Introducing ...

Toddler in Chief.

If there's anything more creepy than the totalitarian imagery which accompanied Obama's campaign, it's revisiting it now that people have the full measure of the baby-in-chief. The otherworldly glow of a messiah that followers projected upon him was idiotic and gross from the outset, but in hindsight it looks rather more like Mayans in the throes of ecstasy whilst virgins are offered up for the gods. It took less than a year for him to reduce his own iconography to hilarious kitsch.

State of the Union

The poor bastard still thinks he's President of Hydeparkberkeleycambridge and that the people, the political opposition, some members of his own party, the Supreme Court and reality are simply irritants in his imagined plotline of The Barack Obama Story. He has no instinct for survival, just a double dose of smug preening and delusional arrogance. This is not going to end well unless some old-school Japanese monsters save him from his taunting of Godzilla. Even a fellatic media won't be able to help once more people start to completely turn against him. Tick. Tock.

Now you know.

Spooky.

This piece by one of my favorite illustrators really cried out for a little bit of Obamafication. Community organizers from hell. The creepy and thuggish underbelly of progressivism. And Chicago. Too perfect to resist.

Apocalypse Gore.

Organic, free-range.

Lefties are such sheep that they can be persuaded that roughly half the nation is brainwashed by FOX News - which gets a whole couple of million viewers a night. They're such sheep that when a lefty discovers that I'm, uh, not one, I could hold both ends of the subsequent conversation because I've already seen the cartoon that runs in their heads so many times I've lost count. That they have the temerity to routinely suggest that wingers are sheep can best be explained by section 8 of the above butcher's diagram, though a few others are suitable as well. That's about all I can muster about lefties at the moment, but I could go on all day about sheep. Continue reading +/-

Q: Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
A: So sheep can't hear them pulling down their zippers.

A G F G A A A G G G A C C A G F G A A A G G A G F = Mary Had A Little Lamb.

Sheep are not as inherently funny as goats, but they taste better in stew. And goat chops with mint jelly sounds like something you'd only eat on a dare.

This is the second post in a row referencing sex with barnyard animals.

You're welcome.

Thanks for the prize, bitches.