Monday, January 4, 2010

Simple acts to spoil a progressive's day

Bathrooms. One of the many places in the lefty cocoon where they like to leave their political proclamations. It's not unlike shitting in your own living room if you don't mind my waterboarding a metaphor. How edgy to speak truth to power where most people think exactly like you do! Or, even if they don't think the same way, they take the path of least resistance like I do by keeping quiet in the land of emotional infants. I can't count the number of times I've had to stare down "Bush lied, people died" or other such stickers while attempting to relieve myself. I used to be somewhere between numb and oblivious to it, but I increasingly react with a desire to punch the nearest vintage-sweater-wearing dipshit beta male in the junk.

What is difficult to understand unless you are encircled by leftists is the extent to which their brazenness, arrogance and even their self-confidence is a byproduct of their insularity and mutual reinforcement. And you simply cannot chip away at this without rattling their cages. That can mean, among other things, shitting where they eat. Big deal, bathroom stickers, you say. It's pissing in the ocean. It is. But it is only one silly, innocuous thing among many when the stated desire is to bleed them to death by paper cuts. And unlike plastering LA with Obama Joker posters or doing brilliant videos posing as a pimp and ho at ACORN, it takes minimal personal effort.

You could employ the litany of winger chucklehead bumpersticker sentiments and drop a sledgehammer in these environs, but guerilla marketing or using non-traditional media is more interesting - or in this case, more biting - when there's an element of randomness to the messages. I've heard David Horowitz suggest that he deliberately acts like a jackass to mimic the behavior of the left - and his own when he was one of them - but even with that qualification he just comes across as a jackass. No net gain. I mention it though because there is truth about the potency of mimicking them with regard to cultural markers and their self-identity. When you hit them while using their own sensibilities against them it confuses lefties because they are working with cartoons of the right in their heads.

What follows are some examples for your friendly neighborhood hipster bar, coffee house, vegan restaurant, indie bookstore or maybe the bathrooms near faculty offices at your college. With these particular ones I thought an amusing approach would be to play off of elements in the actual environment. Playing off the type of establishment can also be funny. But neither is necessary, obviously.

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